DEEP down MY sECret hideout

2010-01-02T20:08:00.002+08:00

i have officially moved to tumblr.

hah(:
finally figured my way ard the site.
i have added my tagboard there.
So those people who tag me, can continue tagging.

And yeah :)

rock onnnn

happppppy new year
and sayonara blogger.

i think i might still blog here when my tumblr is screwing. (:

http://ikillpeople-inmyhead.tumblr.com/

2009-12-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

2009-12-29T21:53:00.002+08:00

still working on the tumblr.
My computer's like blocking the dashboard or something.

Went to watch Avatar today (: wheee
i wanna be part of the movie.

I m just really disgusted and disappointed with someone.
I m not angry. you need to know that.
whateverrrrrrrrrrrr

xoxo
shivaneh sasha rocks your grave

2009-12-28T21:05:00.002+08:00

I M MOVING TO TUMBLR PRETTTAYYY SOON (:

I WONT CLOSE THIS BLOG.
I'LL STILL LEAVE IT FOR MY MEMORIES.
BUT, IMMA REMOVING THE TAGBOARD SOON.
GIVE ME 2 DAYS. (:

2009-12-26T22:00:00.002+08:00

"Cause i 'mma just set them up, to knock them over

& there isnt going to be any evidence ."

Dont take it personally.

I think your a negative kid.

2009-12-26T21:10:00.002+08:00

Count me in.

Freakkums i m not exactly ready for my party.

I dont know what to do.

I have not really planned much.

GAH HELP

gah. i cant belive your so insensitive.

But D, its just you, there isnt much of a difference.

Why would life be, without you being mean. (:

just pick the most idiotic one .

I aint mad. i m just learning to get used to life.

so babeh

2009-12-26T19:47:00.002+08:00

I thought i talk about one of the main reasons to christmas being beautiful to me.

KK.

his the nicest kid ever.

cause he doesnt know who cant love a chubby love-able green monster.

K, if you realised green and me are really connected.

My uniform is green and so is my grinch.

I LOVE YOU (:

okay i m done.

2009-12-26T19:22:00.002+08:00

Fred perry is for sexy boys.

okay maybe not. Good boys.

So my christmas was fucked up.

Eg: MY FUCKNUT FATHER TORE MY LV BAG.

AND CLAIMS IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

Well on a happier note .

I got rid of psycho. (:

I got a pair of D & G sneakers

My christmas partay is tmr. ( i need to do so much more)

And K is the cutest kid ever. ok not exactly but techinically.

i m happy with Raj for not breaking her promise.

I m happy that i listened to suzanna's advise on someone.

I m happy that shalania loves me! (: hahaha.

Sometimes, i look elsewhere, when i know its been here all along.

When love takes over, you cant deny that alottah things seem much better.

Cause love makes you feel so secure & you smile for absolute reason.

i know i m contradicting whatever i said about love a few days ago.

I think i miss school.

cause i can always run away from things and head there.

Its not like i had many things to do or something.

but it was wayyy more tranquil than staying home.

2009-12-25T00:03:00.002+08:00

merry xmas. have fun. i'll try to have good fun (:

& baby, when i said i love you i meant it, and i aint going to stop , no matter what you say

Pics from today and yesterdae

2009-12-23T22:00:00.002+08:00

my parents died in a car crash 2 hrs ago.

this car crash took place in my brain

that means that bitch and bastard are walking about in the house

2009-12-22T21:13:00.002+08:00

"We each take different paths, but no matter where we end up, we take a little piece of each other with us"

Life.

Making out.Hanging out.Sneaking Out.Passing out

Running back.Rushing back.Patching back.Getting back.

No ~~Regrets~~. ♥

2009-12-22T19:59:00.003+08:00

Crying never meant that your weak, since birth it marked that your alive.

I dont think you should waste time in finding yourself, cause i think in the end its all about creating yourself.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? saying something, or you wish you hadnt?saying nothing and wishing you had?

Theres a time in your life when you cut all the pointless drama, and the people who create them, and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard till you cry.

Thats the day you realise you are living life for yourself.

i aint going to take this life seriously at all.

Cause i remembered that no one is going to get out alive.

Stop comparing me, to someone you might have known, or believe you know.

Cause i m nothing like what you think i could be.

If someone is going to step on you and make you feel low, make sure you give them hell.

No one can step on you and walk around feeling content about it.

Strength is nothing more than how well you hide the unbearable pain.

If someone is casting a terrible love spell on you, you need to wake up and know its nothing more than a death knot you tied yourself.

And boy i forgot to love you last night, and i'll try remembering tonight.

I forgot why i was living, and i m trying to assure myself that its for my own self.

They keep saying that i aint the girl they seen before.

They cant remember me being this way.

They cant put my memories with them, to me.

They make me feel like i m someone else.

I wish i could figure why.

Seriously i dont believe in love.

Give me a break.

Love is a excuse for many stupid acts.

i forgot how to love .

I find every one to be too mushy or too boring.

i deserve salvation already.

I deserve solitude.

I seriously need some lone time.

I hate a lot of things.

But i dont know how to hate, since i cant love.

So i dont know what i m feelings.

It feels like pain, or suffocation.

I hear something calling me

maybe its time for me to meet death.

2009-12-22T15:49:00.003+08:00

YOU HAD ME AT HELLO.

laughter can be translated to any language.

2009-12-22T13:53:00.005+08:00

The day before i left for holidays.

the following pictures can be extremly gay.

BEWARE.

it holds, siva,d,ali,irfan.

it was at bishan. after we played cs in parklane

2009-12-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

Holler brothers from other mothers!

I got home today at 8 plus to see my prettay xmas tree

and pinata for my partayyy (:

Well, today was long.

Met D and left to hougang plaza to meet siva and mizi(irfans cute brother)

And well slacked there for abit, den siva,D,some budak and i

left to AMK meet Irfan, saw some kid name iqbal there for some time.

Then, finally met aidan.

Then Irfan.siva,aidan and i and that budak

went to BMC amk to check private courses for Irfan and Aiden.

Then finally we went back to hougang and met ho kit and mizi again.

Then went to penin to buy shoe for ho kit

Then it was failed shoppin trip, cause we decided to go beach road to find for shoes.

another failed attempt.

Finally ate dinner. I drank sugar cane .

Then D and i cabbed home.

ONCE AGAIN I PAID.

for all those bubble tea u bought for me (:

gahhhh.

i got much to do.

My cousins from msia might be coming.

i m real excited. (: i cant wait.

And well, now i m waitin for ikhsan call me.

I wonder where is prasand. i had a massive row with him.

Actually it was just me letting out all my twisted emotions. GRRRR -.-

d was singing in the cab while i was screaming at P.

gah d, your so funny at times.

anyways, i m off to talk on the phone.

i need to talk to shalania.

ARE you reading this babe?

NOT CAUSE I HAVE PROBLEMS

NOT CAUSE I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.

CAUSE I MISSSSSSSSSSS YOUR VOICE AND YOUUUU.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. LOL

and well, i need to go out on wednesdae, with people

and jiachen to watch movie.

but i cant if my cousins are coming.

and i really must spend time with them

cause last dec , they spend time with me (:

freakums, i need to upload my genting pictures and my pictures from the day before i left sg.

GRRR shivaneh is sucha slow poke.

xoxo

shivaneh sasha rocks your mofu grave.

mom wants my smiley piecing outtah my mouth.

i told her its tooooo painful to remove.

"shivaniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii your crazy[!]" - my mom for the past week.

2009-12-20T17:31:00.003+08:00

GAH. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

whatcha say babe.

your so wrong.

gahhhh

I aint going to stick ard and watch your child-crazy minds,

make me think i m wrong and not perfect.

you have broken me inside and coated me with lies on the outside.

2009-12-20T16:00:00.003+08:00

Count your days.

Living the sin is the new in thing.- Britney

Food is such a fucking thing.

I keep puking.

Fuck it, i hate holidays to cold places, where u need to eat or you feel like dying.

GRRRR. fuck i should stop finding excuses.

Thank god, for exercise.

And, yah.

Ouh come on, stop guiding me into your sad traps.

Seriously, i m sick of every single one of you wasted people.

Love is so toxic.

buy a lollipop. suck on it.

2009-12-20T15:23:00.002+08:00

maybe its true, when i said i cant live without you.

I dont think i have alottah time left to figure out this world.

I miss shalania's voice.

Its been so long since i heard you babe.

I m thinking why i suddenly have this feeling.

in less than 11 day i m enterin my 18th year.

obligation is crap

2009-12-16T20:15:00.002+08:00

i m starving and puking
and working out.

I m frigging out myself.
i dont know whats wrong with me this days.
I think different. Different is better way of putting it.

I think i m liar.
I lie to myself all the times
i think i m manipulative.
I m capable of so many things.
I think i m sick
I m twisted in my brain.
And i wish someone could see through this wall.
I wonder why i became like this.

BRRRRR

2009-12-16T19:25:00.003+08:00

BOO! (:

i m in genting right now.
Second day here! and well its cold.BRRRRRR

played the theme park.
played all the nice thrilling games.

i think my smiley piercing is amazing to the retards here.
And well, my lips has nt healed frm me banging into the pole.
ouh wait, i dint blog about that.
On monday, i banged into a fcuking pole. and there is no visible injury
but i had a nose bleed and my lips were bleeding.
And well, i have a cut on my lip and its inside so it sucks.

Well about the holiday, its funnn (:

Cute boys here and there. not too many though :(

well good luck to those taking results on friday.

And i miss my budds.

I m heading to KL tmr afternoon and i will be back on saturday (:

& well, i m drinking mocha praline frap.
Nice. (:

HAHAHA

I PUKED MY LUNCH JUST NOW. HAHAHAHAHA (:

well be back soon (:

XOXO
SHIVANEH SASHA ROCKS. (:

2009-12-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

hello. Tomorrow i m off for holidays.

today met irfan,siva,deepan,ali at bishan.

Then we went to parklane to play CS.

came back to bishan. someone thought gumworld is far more important.

Well i got tons of lame ass pictures to upload frm today

for irfan and siva, i shall do it later when shuruti is done with desktop.

since i m using macbook now.

i feel rather bad. I called 2 someones today.

after a pretty long time. i m apologise and to that particular, i m thankful you are still here.

and i cant believe you still bother reading my blog.

well, i m gonna remove my tagboard later.

and i know i m gonna miss you guys!

2009-12-12T21:19:00.003+08:00

today irfan,deepan,ho kit, shuruti , prasand and i went to vivo (:

WE SLACKED.

HERES THE PICS.

GAHHH

tmr ho kit's off to bangkok! shopppp GAH.

2009-12-11T22:47:00.003+08:00

i m not gonna blog about that person.

But i just wanna thank my friends for not making me stray the wrong way.
or being stupid by telling my family is bad.

They are being super nice, but being there, and telling me to make changes
and making me a better person.

Thanks for extinguishing the sucidal thoughts.

love you budds.

gotta roll.
conference time

2009-12-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

this song is nice (:

2009-12-11T21:29:00.004+08:00

Today, D,Irfan ,Siva and i went to Rajashree's hse. (:

i made cards and bought bouquet for her mom. (:
siva bought chocolates.

we had alotttah fun.
FOOD. haha.
we tallkkkedd lame ass stuff.

Her parents were uber nice.
And well, then we went to tampines mall.
we starbucked.
and well ahmad the starbucks barista is kinda cute. lol.
they made fun of him RAWR
Irfan and i changed to nicer studs.
Mine is green, his is bronze
Cabbed till my hse.

smileyyy

da duhhhh

xoxo
shivaneh sasha rocks your graveee.

2009-12-11T10:02:00.000+08:00

i pierced my smiley

smiley is the web in ur upper lip, for those who dont know.
when you smile. your piercing shows.

irfan and i pierced it together.
Siva pierced it for us.

later we are going to raj's house for lunch and out to town i HOPE.
I DONT REALLY WANNNA GO JK.

argh.

P, looks real dreadful, his eye is swollen real bad.

Dont take me for a fool

2009-12-09T13:21:00.003+08:00

I think i wont say anything about her anymore.
She feels that my feelings are worth 2 cents.
And i should not blog about her.

I wont blog about her then.
I dont feel anything towards her anymore.
She means nothing to me, i dont think anyone in this place mean anything.
I mean 1 cent to them, i m not as kind.
They mean nothing to me.

I thought it would be easy, and its normal to feel this way.
But i dont want to feel this way anymore.
I want to be happy truly & not try to please her in the process.
Shes unreasonable and thats all i m going to say.

I guess now that its in my soul.
I dont want it to go. It builds a certain form of security .
Its hard to believe myself and i knew that for a very long time.
I said many things, and just to see how it will go.
I dont think we need to grow up. i dont see the reason to leave such a security.

I couldnt make my mind, cause i never realised that i m better alone.
Turns out, i was born to be everyone else's sweet escape or salvation.
As time went by, i realised i m going to be listening to alot of people.
And i doubt i m going to let someone listen to me, the way i want to be heard.

seems like my life aint gonna change for a long time.
Being seventeen is stupid. I'll be stepping into my eighteenth year soon.
And its back with a bag fulla responsibilities.

i feel so misread, and the hypocrisy is sick
i m not exactly saying whatever i feel.

I cant believe this happened to me.
i m lost. i dont know where i m going.
but you know what i dont feel so insecure anymore.
its went away so suddenly, that i dont trust myself anymore.

at the back of my head i know , if someone killed me.
i think i have served good time in this ~~hell~~ world

you know you can pretend till forever
but i know that you know that i know.

2009-12-09T12:30:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, met deepan and raj under my block and met scott at serangoon.
Went to bishan. waited for siva and irfan.

Then saw suady. tkgs senior.

and headed to gv plaza singapura to watch case 39
Met taufic there.

slacked abit.

Came back to bishan. met prasand. :/

and everyone slowly headed home.
Came home with Taufic and deepan.

well, alottah things happened.
like crazy photos. fights with stupiid ppl in kfc.

well here is something very important

THEY SCREAM LIKE MAD GIRLS IN THE CINEMA.
FOR LAME ASS SCARY KNOCKS.?! -.-
i got so mad, i whacked taufic on his back.
he WAS LIKE ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ouh god.

they are retards at times.

but ouh well, they make me feel really happy.

p, i wish you dint do, what u do.
i wish you were normal like everyone else.

2009-12-06T14:10:00.003+08:00

Ouh afterrrnooon. GAH.

Babe's learning to talk.
HAH , his talking more than 2 words.

HAHAHA.

damn.

i need to get so many more presents.
I need a christmas tree, since we gave ours away.
There are so many things to do.
I really think i need a list, and i shall type i guess.

damn, i cant believe i just drifted away for a good 30 mins.
just staring at the screen.
Freakky.

if raj heard this, she'll be like " DONT DO A PRASAND"
hahahahahahahah

KABAAMMM

2009-12-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

I M LOST IN THE CONVERSATIONS.

2009-12-05T20:20:00.002+08:00

Today was terrific.
Woke at 12pm, after mass convo last night.
Shuruti and i left for serangoon to meet priyanka and
We went to orchard.

it was fun. talking and laughing.
boredom is something we brush off with heaps of giggling.
Waiting for Rajshre at starbucks.
Then finally we bought more xmas pressies

Raj came home with shuruti and i
Then well , mom talked to raj and i about the party.

WE CHANGED THE COLORS TO BLUE SLIVER AND BLACK.

Well then, she left. just ate dinner.

thinking about what to do.

supposed to meet JC tmr.

Anyways i m making a list of things i need to do before this holiday ends.
MOMMY I WANT MY KB-ING CLASS NOW.

anyway, i think i miss someone right now.
i think i know where that kid is right now.
love is melody that i played to many times, i tell you.

i think i mightah paint my room black this week.
need to check with the MOM.
rawr. :)

my mom has banned people from my party.
I wish i knew how to break it to you.
And can you believe its girls & not boys. ! [!!]

aite.

xoxo
shivaneh sasha

2009-12-03T21:26:00.001+08:00

"but you know that i love you right?"

2009-12-03T20:57:00.002+08:00

Hey.

Today was fine.

but the fact that i m fired from a job that i "love"

is easy to take.

i m really sad.

because my mother scolded me on the phone.

now after going home , she gives the ignoring treatment.

I cant imagine how she'll treat during holiday. :(

Firstly i wanted to quit on monday.

But she was unhappy about it remember.

Than i worked for 2 days and today i dint go to work.

i know it my fault. but its not like i enjoy the fucking job.

she keeps drumming that i m irresponsible.

But she refuses to listen to me.

shes never happy with whatever i do.

she kills me emotionally

2009-12-02T22:35:00.003+08:00

work was okay.

Tomorrow, meeting Raj and D's budds for dinnnerrrr.

shopping.

i think i mightah report sick for work tomorrow.

2009-12-01T11:38:00.002+08:00

6 more hours till i end work.

I wonder if i get my pay today.

Trying to download msn messenger on this computer.

RAWR. its taking a long time.

I think i m off to orchard later if i get my pay.

But i'll still go find P later.

I wonder what they ask him to draw today at therapy.

yesterday was stick man.

Today could be stick woman.

his rather proud of his capability in drawing stick man figures.

As he finds himself to be better than the wasted mats.

I CANT WAIT FOR THE PARTAY.

D better get his sorry arse across the block.

cause you bettttterrrr come. or else, i ride my bike into ur house!

joey i miss you buddy.

Cant wait for you to be back (:

This is for you.

I DONT CARE IF U COME OR NOT.

2009-12-01T10:42:00.001+08:00

i m at work.

Deepan walked me to the bus stop.

We laughed our sorry asses off stupid lame ass joke.

I woke him and demand he follow me to the far away 153 bus stop.

Conferenced with Prasand and Raj.

Heres what Raj said:

R: HELLLLLLO

Me: guess who & i are ......

R: Hmm, is it someone i know? D's friends?

Me: Getting Closer

R: i dont want guess. i m afraid to be wrong

Me: GUESS! OR ELSE.

R: is it the 16 yr old changed drug addict?

Me: HIS ON THE LINE U IDIOT.

WE BOTH LAUGH LIKE CRAP

PRASAND: YES I M HERE! LOL

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

2009-11-30T22:18:00.002+08:00

friendship circles are killer

2009-11-30T17:25:00.002+08:00

Party at my house on the 27th december.
Christmas dinner party!

msn/call/sms me to comfirm.

Dresscode: Black.Red.Gold.

& your expected to behave civilized.
Alcohol not provided.

Read on, so that i get update you! (:

Flyer

2009-11-29T22:46:00.006+08:00

So heres what i've been up to.

I went to peoples park/peninsula plaza/parklane/cchij tpy concert at cjc.

yesterday.

Met D and his budds.
We pooled. & walked abit. checked out siva's ouh so great tattoo. *LOL

and at night
Raj and I met up with my sister and priyanka to go to CHIJ TPY concert at CJC
den we got bored and decided to dinner at TPY Hub's MOS burgers. (:

Ran last night (:

Then Today FAMILEYYY DAY.

Went to the flyer AGAIN.
Before that, went to bubble tea shop with D .
* I OWE D 1.50

and anyways, went to flyer.
Before that dined at Senso Pasta, to past time in order to get into the capsules at a good time.
LOL -.-

After that we ate ice cream and went to marina square.
Shopped.

GO SUPPORT NORTHLIGHT SCHOOLS BOOTH AT DIY STORE AT MARINA square (:

Starbucked.
Bought their christmas promo TOFFEE NUT (: yay!
its back! LATTE is better than FRAP.

anyways back home.

will run tmr.
will work out later.

& D IS GOING CRAZY WITH HIS LOVE. (:
CHILL SOUL.

LOL . HIS LOSING HIS NUTS.

2009-11-27T23:22:00.004+08:00

DOUCHEBAG.

Leave me alone.

2009-11-27T23:14:00.005+08:00

FCUK OFF!

Christmas

2009-11-25T23:23:00.002+08:00

I was thinking about christmas, which is just around the corner.

The season of giving, is a certainly a time of merriment

And of course many would head back home to share joyous moments with their loved ones.

I walked around orchard, and i saw many hunting down for presents

And many deals,discounts, lucky dips .. & whatever else.

Its nice to see many people keeping in mind their loved ones and getting them something.

But the real deep meaning to the season of giving, would of course be our service to the less fortunate. And us giving them a feast or bringing a smile within their hearts.

Many of us have forgotten to look into the beauty within this smiles, and lost the the deep meaning to the season. I think this season i've got a whole range of ideas planned already.

But i just made some changes.

This is not because i changed overnight to become mother teresa.

But merely because christmas is celebrated to mark the birth of jesus who died on the cross,and giving us salvation from our sins as he loved us very much.

We could share the christmas spirt , by offering love, service, food to the less fortunate

And of course our much precious time.

Jesus came to earth for the needy and sick.

And without them, we would never be free from all our sins.

Who would give them opportunities ?

Who would give them love?

who would give them salvation from their illness?

If we celebrated christmas within our family and friendship circles.

This christmas, i ask you my friends to reach out to those who need some form of help, and show some love, and bring a whole new meaning to your wonderful christmas.

God bless (:

good night (:

2009-11-25T21:46:00.003+08:00

"He screamed love songs at 2am outside her window."

I got so much to say about those things running through my head.
I dont quite know where to start.
Its like there is so much to say and some contradict each other.
Its something like a piece of abstract art.
Different ways of understanding the message.
I wish i could say how this feeling puzzles me.
When i look outtah the window and stare at the sky, i see alot of things that gets me thinking.

I know he harbors feelings for me.
And so does the other he.

But i dont quite feel anything.

I feel bare most of the times.
I feel lost in terrains of emotional violence.

I still dont think i feel better, like i usually do :(

Goodnight

XOXO
SHIVANEH SASHA ROCKS YOUR GRAVE VIOLENTLY

2009-11-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

CHRISTMAS PARTYYYYY (:

Process of planning (:

2009-11-25T21:00:00.003+08:00

HOLLLER.

i'mma real tired.

Went to bugis with Shuruti, Deepan& Taufiq.
We Watched Xmas carol 3D

Before that we ate like pasta mania.
I wouldnt wanna say what disgusting things D , did with the Pizza.

Then after the movie, they left to jalan kayu,

** edited. D wants me to add that they went to eat prata and drink and go home (:

LOL D!

Shuruti and i met Raj, and offfftahhh town.
We walked aloooottt.

Then we went to cathay, where this white guy stopped us, and made us try some hair thingy.
Then we had dinnner.
at cathay.

And walked back to Dhoby Gaut and went home :)

love .
is .
dead .

2009-11-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

Like every left has a right.
I had you.

ouh, violent lies.
Please go away.

Now, sins step up, and tell your tale.
This is about a girl, who thanked lady luck too often.
Everyone has a night.

Memories that have turned me upside down.

Your missing a part of your puzzle.
Cause its here with me.

& I truly miss you [!]

I dont know how this illusion turned to reality.
I dont know i got to this point.

Justin, its going to be 3 years.

2009-11-24T22:47:00.001+08:00

MIGUEL YOU SO FLY !

i dint go to work.
Someone died. Thats what i said.

I went for muay thai.
My mother rather have me to kickboxing first.
I think she freaked after seeing the butch-es .HAHAHA.

Well, i m offtah kickboxing then.

2009-11-23T23:00:00.003+08:00

"did you feel like a man, when you tore her apart?"

She saiddd this doesnt hurt anymore

Cause today , many years ago she cried till she couldnt anymore.

I'll tell you something, shes never going to cry.

And all she wants is for that heart.

to come back to life.

well i wish you would shudap.
your rants are killing me.
please shut up.

rawrrrr gah D:

i think i m stressed, its like my social life is punctured.
My stupid boss sucks my blood.
Sickening. Tsk. i wish i dint lead such a messed up life.

Fuck i m so stressed i could cry tonight. But fcuk , i wont fall to pressure.

would you please shut the fuck up?
Sometimes i wish i dint tell you so much of my feelings.
You just piss me further. :/
fuck your a stupid bitch for a mother.
You suck my soul out of my body.

TODAY SUCKS:(

TODAY IS BAD

EVERYTHING SUCKS

I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT JUSTIN NOW.
STRESS.BITCH MOTHER. BITCH BOSS.

bitchh

2009-11-23T22:21:00.002+08:00

Today work was a stupid bitch.
she sucks my blood.
Drains my energy :(

afterwork mos burger! RAWR

i just ran.

pray i have a better day at work tmr :)

2009-11-22T20:22:00.002+08:00

Hello (:

Yesterday , after work, i had DB.
Then i went to meet K. He got me chocolate (: WHEEE

Saw shalania over there (:

Then met anand for a movie.
Paranormal activity. Cause today is his bdae.

HAPPPYYY BDAE ANAND! (:

Today went to east coast park with Shuruti and Deepan.
The half punjabi,indian kid from across the block.
We went cycling.

Lately i've gotten in touch with my surroundings.
Friends, that i never made.
But seen around for years.

WHEEE

2009-11-20T21:59:00.001+08:00

Hello (:

Tmr is long day.
Work. Dragonboat. Anands bdae outin.

Sunday i got muay thai! YAY(:

GOD BLESS MY SOUL (:

drove to insanity

2009-11-18T07:17:00.002+08:00

hello. ♥

AWESOME MORNINGS. (:

i JUST finished working out and running.
And well thank you K for waking me up.
Introverts. tsk

you tell the boy to wake you up at 6am.
and he wakes up at 5am and counts down apparently.

joey, i miss you tons. we need to starbucks pretty soon! (:

And to the band, babes lets go rawking soon (:
love you budds.

SHALANIA WISH KEVIN HAPPY BDAE
I WAS AT WORK. AND DEAD TIRED.
I MISS YOU (:

XOXO
SHIVANEH SASHA ROCKS YOUR GRAVE

2009-11-17T22:53:00.002+08:00

spt died.

thats my hamster.
It died.

Baby your soul is mine.

2009-11-17T21:31:00.002+08:00

First day at work.
September 21!
Its really fun (:

And yet so tiring.

Met anand for dinner at macs. Was fun too(:

Gonnna go run at ten.

Ouh yah, SP's escape was okay. i cant be bothered to blog about it.

And well i m extremely bored.

and tired.

i need to farm town. Anand needs to send me a sms that i drafted in his phone to remind me. GRRRRRR.

well nights everyone.

SHIVANEH SASHA ROCKS YOUR GRAVE.

ps: i figured a way to gain entry to the net at work place.

I M STARTED DRAGON BOAT THIS SAT AFTER A LONG BREAK OF 3 WEEKS

AND I M JOINING MUAY THAI.

2009-11-14T15:41:00.002+08:00

TO THE THE LOW LIFE SOCIAL HAZARD PASSERBY!

I THINK ITS TIME U SHUT UR STUPID TRAP.
I AINT AFRAID OF A BLOODY ONLINE PEST.

NO one in the right mind will be afraid of a stupid online bitch.
Who actually wastes time digging up the archives, and worst still,
is blinded by stupidity to see the changes over the years.

i m removin my tagboard, over the night, since i'll be off to SP's dusk to dawn party.

to prevent the stupid pest from making my tagboard look ugly. (:

2009-11-14T13:33:00.003+08:00

Keep bringing the hate to a whole new level bitch.

CAUSE THIS FACE

does not care (:

2009-11-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

SHE FOUND ABT BROKEN POTS AND SCREAMED

I MEAN SCREAMMMMMMMMMM

RAWR.

I SCREAMED BACK

SHE FREAKS ME OUT AT TIMES.

ouh well its still my fault :(

i m apologetic, but aint telling her now :(

2009-11-12T20:41:00.002+08:00

RAWR.

tmr, i m supposedly meetin Raj and suz to shop.

damn it . this is pissing. once i get my job,
i'll fix it
i m getting a fever thinking about it

2009-11-12T12:35:00.000+08:00

what the fuck is wrong with me

i broke some of the clay artifacts my mom has lined my staircase with.
RAWR.

its been there for years
and for years i've been running up the stairs.

nothing of this sort happened.

my luck is screwin my life.
I NEED TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEMS.

DEAR GOD, PLEASE GUIDE ME TO FIND A WAY TO FIX MY PHONE.
THE CLAY ARTIFACTS,WELL, I CAN like, accuse it on my grogginess.

2009-11-12T11:14:00.002+08:00

HOW THE FCUK DOES SOMEONE ENJOY THE FREEDOM FROM O LEVELS
WITH THEIR PHONE BEING SQUASHED BY SOME BITCH KNN ON THE BUS! rawr

i m pissed. i cant sleeppp.

MY mom will be so disappointed.
I MUST RESOLVE THIS.
:(

2009-11-11T21:48:00.001+08:00

yay. its over.

And my new samsung preston's Outtah screen is smashed/cracked.
I mean my phone is in total workin condition
with a outter smashed glass effect. !@#@$@#$

MOM IS GONNANNNNNA FREAK OUT AND MURDER ME VERBALLY.

dead MUSIC.

SHURUTI AND I WILL SOLVE IT TMR AT PLAZA SING AT SAMSUNG SHOP

OR I WILL BUY A NEW SAMSUNG PRESTON AND REPLACE W/O MOM KNOWING.

anyways thank heavens o levels over.
and i feel so much better.
i m sitting here with my hair dye on my head! (:

2009-10-27T19:49:00.002+08:00

I'LL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS

STRONG AND VICTORIOUS.

i wont blog till o levels are over
and i promise (:

i'll tagg though. Like in my tagboard! (:

2009-10-27T19:40:00.002+08:00

MY SISTER IS A JEALOUS FISH.

-.-

SO RETARDED

SHES SITTING NEXT TO ME.

JEALOUS FISH, LALALALALALLALALALLALALALAL.

JEALOUS TURTLE FACE.

2009-10-27T17:46:00.003+08:00

hello.

ouh WHATEVER. -.-

Get a life thats worth more than 1 cent (:

good luck everyone doing o levels

And to shalania,jiachen,sapna,clarrison, jason, narein, melanie, geneth

claudia

SPECIAL LOVE LUCKS TO THOSE MENTIONED.

2009-10-24T22:35:00.002+08:00

i welcome SHALANIA NAIDU
BACK INTO MY LIFE.

AHHAHAHHAAHHA.

WE ARE LIKE SOME BICKERING COUPLE.

WE FIGHT/PATCH/FIGHT/PATCH

oh well thats the way cool friends are.

2009-10-24T19:15:00.002+08:00

"You think you female version of Casanova?"

"yes why not."

Today met jiachen at tampines mall to starbucks. study.

tuition soon. RAWR

2009-10-24T10:36:00.001+08:00

Well shane.

HOPE EVERYTHING GOES BRUTAL DURING THE GIG!
GOODLUCK (:
i PRAY YOU BECOME DEADLY FAMOUS.
AND YOU CAN HAVE MANY MANY MILLION GROUPIES TO SATISFY YOUR NEEDS. :)
*WINKS.

and see you in nov.

ps: YOUR HOT HAIR SHALL SEDUCE ALL THE GIRLS OVER THERE. (:

HAVE GREAT FUN. (:

2009-10-23T23:46:00.002+08:00

I will mess your face ,
till your doctors wont be able to recall your fucking face.

I want the hand of god
To come and strike me down

Where is your god?
Where is your fucking god?

For all the prayers that go
unanswered
Why do you think that is?
For the families that
waste their time
Open your eyes

2009-10-23T23:30:00.001+08:00

i want go to so many gigs.

black dahlia murder is coming to singapore according to shane (:

And and i want want to go to the concerts on 21st nov, 14th nov(shanes)

and so many more.

2009-10-22T23:06:00.008+08:00

I tell you a million times over, not to mess with me (:

& why don't they ever get it into their thick skulls.

oh, well now you'll have a sad night.
Cause tonight i'll go to bed happy and peaceful.

If only all the people who hated me gathered in one place, it will be huge ;D
Then i can bomb the place.
KABOOM.

hahaha, i dont really care.
Never did, never will .

Nights.

xoxo
shivaneh sasha rocks your grave.

if you play, play for keeps.
you cant lose, even if it means cheating

2009-10-22T17:54:00.002+08:00

Well, lets talk about my o levels science practical exam.
Bio/chem.

I was rather amazed with my results, and it was much easier than i thought it would be.
such a relief. I hope i ace it

My geog teacher was such a sweetheart.
Actually shes not my geog teacher.
The geog Head i guess. i aint that sure ;D

She passed claudia and Me tons of PAPERS. (:
AND NICE NICE NICE BOOKMARKS. (:

Apparently the answer to the anion question is
Carbonate anion & carbonate anion according to my sister's friend teacher. -.-

but, my class and I got Carbonate , sulfate.
Everyone actually got that answer right?
anyone with different answers?
whatever. i pray its our answer.

Empty ~~house~~ heart

i feel so free from all you idiots.
Burnt your places from here.

2009-10-22T16:23:00.001+08:00

MY SISTER ATE TWO CHAPATII WITH ONIONS

troublemaker

2009-10-22T16:09:00.002+08:00

somehow or rather i always land myself into a certain form of trouble -.-

You know, its not like i care.
This losers really need to get it into their thick skulls.
I dont mess their heads till they mess me.

I dont like them near me, i already said it rather clearly.
Then they fake their idenities and seek attention from me.
I aint sorry, i offer you the attention you find to be very frustrating.
I aint sorry, i always find your to be jokes.

I M NEVER going to be sorry, that your stupid loser under block kind, will be my experiments of deception. (:

I will never like/love your kind of people.
So get a life that is worth maybe more than 3 cents.
Which i presume you'll spend your entire lives doing.

2009-10-22T07:13:00.003+08:00

Today is like my o levels practical exam.

I have had a bloody bad day and morning.
Thank you for the sms evangeline/joey/nirmal/Freddy. (:

I feel so glad that, i m free from people like them.
Its a great feeling , but the process to freedom sucked.

Assumptions and Accusations is her middle name.

Shes the stupid person from hell, that is alive to drive me to my miserable death.

Here is my list of things for after o levels.

- Find a job
- Pierce
-Dye my hair
- change my number
- Take my bass back, and learrnnnnnn
- Dragonboat competition
- Learn 2 new skills.

" Patrick his a fucking visionary, trust me"

I dont wanna forget how your fucking voice sounds.

oh brother, this is too over dramatic.

I'm too cool for your sympathy seeking fuck.

and misery loves me so so so .

2009-10-20T23:15:00.002+08:00

This is most stupidest feeling ever.
I refuse to go on dragging this stupid love/hate game.
I m choosing to leave it here, i aint to be blamed.

Why wont this people leave me?
why do they find their ways into my life, and choose to get ripped apart.
They make me become this mean evil sadistic kid.

GAH. D:

i m pissed/annoyed/sad/stressed.

okay, moving onto better things.

I m glad big b settled it with bruno.
I m glad everything is alright. hope it stays that way.

I used to be lovedrunk.
but now i m hungover.

I dont think i feel real love anymore.
I feel so suspicious of everyone/everything
So pathetic, that i dont give my all out there.
The real worlds a mean ass bitch.

I cant be bothered.
I m gonna continue living inside my own land.
I dont need to care about whose sad and whose over.

okay, i 'mma off to study.
its 11.30 already. byebye (:
goodnights ^^

xoxo
shivaneh sasha rocks yours grave

nope i dont feel sorry for them!

2009-10-20T09:57:00.002+08:00

You had my heart.
And you lost it.

JORDONNN.
SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM WITH ME. GAH ;D

Big b, is so emotional this morning.
I mma the angel that god send him (:
Friends are the most beautiful gift ever.

Praise the lord this morning.
I hope everyone is forgiven and free.
We love you o' dear dear lord.

2009-10-20T09:37:00.003+08:00

I dont love you the way you think i do.

And i wish i could tell it to your face.

You are not what i want.

You dont fit into this life, of fun.

spoilt kids are hard to understand

Rock and roll is not your thang
And your not my thang.
And i aint afraid of you.

Trust me, i aint.
So dont threaten/scare/whatever else you think might change my mind.

2009-10-19T23:21:00.002+08:00

ouh stop this little game of yours.

Love vs Friendship
is the most dangerous game to play.

Brother love. vs Baby love
is the most sickest game to mess around with.

Its never fair.
And i never play fair.
I play it so violently wrong.
I m never that kid you think i m .

An opponent too wise.
damn, you've lost it.

Damn , your making me choose.
you are choosing yourselves.
so stop this little messsy dirty game.
My , my how terrible this has become.

And we shall see.

xoxo
shivaneh sasha rocks your grave.

2009-10-19T22:58:00.002+08:00

A & J fought over S

Its messy.
so very messy.

CRAZY MEN.
FIGHTING

I'mma stuck in the middle
watchin them holler at each other.

Killing me.

damn, boys are so whatever.

2009-10-17T23:20:00.002+08:00

I feel like puking my heart out
i ate like mofu rice after 10 months. RAWR.

i'mmm gonna puke in a about 2 mins time . GAH.

2009-10-17T22:52:00.007+08:00

Diwali pics.
need i say more?
it was an awesome dayy. ;]

Kyon na mane Main aawara aashiq hoon galion ka
Aur mene bhi har khel khela hai

Go figure what that means (:

♥
xoxo
shivaneh sasha rocks your grave tonight

2009-10-17T00:25:00.002+08:00

Happy diwali ;]

Went to help clean grandma's house.

Anyways, my eyes got dust, and its painful.

RAWR :(

GAH.

~~I suck~~

I ROCK THIS WORLD.

dang, prettayfaced boy, your so farrr away.

TOMORROW IS LONG LONG DAY . -.-'

i hear the "cha ching" already.

I M GONNA BEEEEEE RICHER.

HAPPY DIWALI, TO ALL YOU INDIAN PEOPLE.

Even for you freaks who, are under the block, carpark, or park, wild clubs , dance shows
and whereever else you indian people chillax at. :)

I hope you are changing your skinny jeans. HAHAHAHA

2009-10-15T20:27:00.001+08:00

FROM THIS MOMENT, TILL THE END OF O LEVELS
I REFUSE TO SPEAK TO ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE.

H.A.T.E

2009-10-15T20:01:00.002+08:00

Here's the fucking things that are racing through my head.

Malaysia was a fucking waste of my time.
My day, my life feels ruined.

O levels is so near, but i feel so fucked up.
CAUSE I FEEL LIKE I M NOT READY.

i think i cant go to a junior college.
So i kiss my dreams goodbye.
I can just fuck everything

I m such a failure in life/love/friendship/education.

I should just leap off a block and die.

I think the most fucked thing is my o levels.
I feel so screwed for it.

I refuse to celeb diwali this year.
I refuse to leave to celebrate.
i m studying/starving/running.
Thats it.

cause i m a failure/loser/major screw up in my life.

all i want is for someone to take my hand and blow this pain away.

I dont even wanna cry.
I m sick of annoying myself.

I SUCK.

2009-10-14T16:47:00.002+08:00

It was like hit-and-run kid.

Ouh babe, say hello to goodbye.
Cause now i m looking at new kid, with new face, with new potentials.

rawr.

I WISH LAVIN WOULD JUST BUZZ OFF MY LIFE.
HIS SUCHA A *sensors*

dont you agree with me on this BIG B?

To those non-believers.
I'll prove you wrong about myself.

2009-10-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

Merrrryywannahhhhh

rock and roll.

i neeedahhh studyyy more (:

YAY.

I pray to the lord for you.

Prettayfaced kid from yester years.

I'll be waiting by the bay

with my fenders and your face in my memories.

2009-10-12T21:51:00.003+08:00

Hey kid from my dreams.
will you love me to bits?

Today i m tired/sick/sick/tired/bored

LALALALLALA.

I NEED A SOCIAL/LOVE LIFE NOW

OK.nvm, on second thoughts

after o levels is better.

I M THE COOLEST THANG EVER.

LOTS OF LOVE

XOXO
SHIVANEH SASHA ROCKS YOUR GRAVE

back off

2009-10-12T13:01:00.000+08:00

I hate you.
I hate her.
I hate him.
I hate everyone.

I feel so fake, i feel so forced to like things i don't like.
This is not who i m.
Dont tell me who i m.
Stop chasing me with your lies.
My mind screaming in silence is deafening.

Leave me alone.

2009-10-11T10:00:00.002+08:00

Wish you were here.

I'mma having terrible muscle aches.
Its killing me.

I feel so RAWR.

surrounded by your embrace.
I see your halo.

i m feeling pissed off
annoyed
angry
irritated

And i dont know why

2009-10-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

R THE CLEAN FACE KID.

BACK WITH dah, JAM.

So the big b, is off to roll.

and you my friend should die.

2009-10-09T21:20:00.002+08:00

why do your people commit suicide?

why do your people cut themselves?

why do your children carry guns to school?

Why do your women become bulimic or anorexic?

Why do your kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them?

Why do your girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys?

In the Bill Of Rights, it says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are your people so afraid to speak up for themselves?

Something for your people to think about.
Since your the best thing ever.
Since you claim we are sinners.

2009-10-09T20:58:00.002+08:00

Say your prayers, bitch
For now i'mma against you.

stupid knnccb ;/

Dont mess with the best.
Dont try to be someone you are not ,especially me
You, my friend will never be me.
Or anything cool.

You look like a terrible joke, trying so hard.
Besides i aint someone with no morals like you.

Get outtah my way bitch.
you are such a pity

2009-10-08T22:16:00.002+08:00

I m hiding under your bed tonight.
I'll throw your slumber upside down.
I'll whisper the death chant into your ears.
I'll rip your eyelids, for you'll have no choice but to look deep into this cold eyes.
your nobody, but'll make you a somebody if you are into trades.

Raise your hand and bow your head
kneel down and scream out loud.
I'll give you whatever you want.
If you trade.

Scream the pain out.
It'll be over in just a second.
eternal burning is yester year's misconceptions.
abandoned land of nothingness is what i throw you in.

Raised to ideological believes that dont mean nothing.
Listen to me.
I'll show you whats life.

XOXO
SHIVANEH SASHA ROCKS YOUR GRAVE

2009-10-08T21:43:00.002+08:00

"Hustler. I'll be your DEEVAE."

This whole town.

I'll be waiting by the backk door.

waiting for all the memories to hit me back.

Tonight, as i go to bed, i think i've got a million thoughts racing through my head.

cause i dint say half the things i wanted to.

you looked like an angel in your last bed at the hospital.

goodnight to lover from above.

2009-10-08T15:56:00.002+08:00

i miss justin shawn more than ever.

It was supposed to be forever.

when they say count your blessing now,
They knew better, for now its over.

I'll punch anyone who says your gone.
Cause that last kiss i'll cherish forever.
Cause you said forever.
I still hear your voice.
& it'll be something that i never forgot and never will.
Coldest ever babeh.
This kid misses your prettay face.

from your princess
since forever (:
love you.

2009-10-08T15:27:00.002+08:00

so, i studied quite a bit.

and awesome
my mom bought cloth for my room dresser.
yay.

today we'll cleaned

Its funny how 5 yrs has passed so fast.
Like, tmr is the last day of official secondary school.
I dont really wanna leave.
I might not like alottah things there, but i've grown to who i m, there.
Its seems like just yesterday i was 12 and got into that school.

I think i have grown too comfortable.
I like the feeling .
Tkgs and I share this hate/love thing.

I m going to miss My tamil teacher the most.
And the teachers who were there.

I m going to miss the teachers who faked to be there.
I m going to miss the constant crap about how i m bringing down TKGS image with rolled up sleeves.

I miss the discipline that wasnt so hard to deal with.
I m going to miss the classroom where i hid.
I m going to miss my secret hideout.
I m going to miss my chair and table.
I m going to miss the familiar faces whether nice/ugly/pretty/stupid/sickening

I miss Tkgs, alreadyy.

I m going to miss the DNT block where behind the lockers i hide.
I m going to miss the spot where i look at TKSS, and the wind blows my hair.
I m going to miss the toilet mirrors.
I m going to miss my classmates.

I m going to miss TKGS.

I m going to miss the stupid mdm khoo.

I m going to miss my school.

I m going to miss bio/chem lessons where i always wana blow the lab up.

I m going to miss my friends.

I m going to miss those bitches.

I m going to miss those corridors where i always thought abt those bitches.

I m going to miss that school cause it made me who i m.

It changed my perceptions.
my appearance
my taste
my life
my everything

OKAY.
DONE. (:

2009-10-08T15:24:00.001+08:00

HELLO
YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
CAUSE YOUR ARE a TWOFACE LOSER.

Wannabe, go get your own identity.

stop stealing mine.

we laugh laugh laugh.

:/

2009-10-06T07:45:00.001+08:00

16 more fucking days
and i m motherfucking pissed off

i demand salvation

2009-10-02T23:45:00.002+08:00

Oh shivaneh , you need therapyyyyyyy

I love edward scissorshands :)

i want my fenders guitarrrrrrrrrrrrrr
BACK.
NOW.

babe .
i think this is intense(:
cause i love you so..

2009-10-02T14:20:00.003+08:00

ouh i wish this feeling would stop.

O levels is like mofu-ing 23 and 1/2 days away.
Damnit.

i still feel so stupid like someone whose gonna end up as a failure in life.

I needah studyyy more.

O LEVELS IS A KILLER.
WHOEVER CREATED BIOLOGY MUST HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF A SOCIAL LIFE.
Actually, i think its a killer, emotionally.

& yessum babe, i'mma head over heels
about you